Just Do It: Be the Friend You Want

We all need help. Some of us suck at asking for help. GUILTY AS CHARGED.

And I figure a lot of you are probably just like me: You want to seem like you’ve got it all together, like you don’t need other people to do anything for you. Like you’ve got everything totally under control… even though your world is crashing down around you.

One of the kindest people I’ve ever had the privilege of speaking to is Jill Donovan, Rustic Cuff founder. I recently interviewed her for my freelance writing gig for the Vintage Newsmagazine. Before I ever had a conversation with her, though, I adored this lady. She has a genuinely kind heart, as evidenced by the mission behind Rustic Cuff. These bracelets are known as “gift them to your friends” bangles. Jill lives in my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I know countless people who Jill has personally gifted Rustic Cuffs to. In fact, after I wrote the article about her, I received a delivery of a huge package of Rustic Cuffs. One of them was engraved with the names of my two sons, “Luke & Jude.” She had subtly asked their names during our interview, and then had a Rustic Cuff personally designed just for me! Talk about kindness personified.

Jill Donovan

All right, back to my point.

If you’re like me, you have a hard time asking for help. And during those seasons when you desperately need help — when you have a newborn, when you’re sick, when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one — you don’t even know how to ask for help. You’re so overwhelmed that you literally have no idea what to ask friends for when they send you well-meaning texts saying, “Let me know what I can do to help.”

In her podcast, “Find Your Get To,” Jill made an amazing point that really struck me. Don’t ask what you can do to help. Just do it. Who cares if you don’t know what your friend’s favorite meal is. Just get her something that sounds delicious, and she will appreciate the fact that someone cared enough to do something. Maybe you have a friend who is in grief, and her house is a mess. Just go clean it. Or, if you have the financial means to do so, hire a professional to clean her house.

That’s the type of friend I want to be. The one who acts. The one who will help even when I don’t even know exactly how to. Chances are, my friend in need doesn’t know how to tell me to help. She doesn’t know how to ask for help during her time of need.

Let’s be a blessing to those in need. Let’s sow seeds of kindness and love even when we don’t know exactly what kind of seeds they should be.

2 thoughts on “Just Do It: Be the Friend You Want

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